Thursday, October 20, 2011

Hearing God Speak

“Mom, how do you know when God is talking to you? Can you hear Him? Because if it is a voice I am listening for, I have never heard Him. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to know what He’s saying when He doesn’t talk in words with a voice.”
For several months I suffered from prayer block. It was terrible. No matter how hard I tried to focus, I simply could NOT get that feeling of a discussion with God. I was talking to myself.
It happened after an extended period of time in intense prayer for the healing of a 9 year old boy, my hero. (I will call him Ean.) I believed God could and would heal him. When his healing happened on May 16, 2010, it broke me. I went through a phase of, “Why bother praying?!” I even ceased praying with my daughters because I felt like a fraudulent pray-er. All I was doing was talking and saying what we are “supposed to say” when we pray. I didn’t think it, feel it or mean it. My prayers were only words.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Abortion: Part I … A Child Asks Questions

(Read BEFORE Part II and III)
I would have appreciated a handbook or study guide for parenting. Seems like that could have been included with the take home care package the hospital generously gave me at the births of my children.

My 16 year old has my depth, but in addition, she is off the charts intellectually. Her sights are set on law school and I have no doubt she will be a success. I’m not sure about the legal terminology, but all I can say is I already feel for the people on the other side of the courtroom …
There has been a topic brewing in her head for a couple of weeks. She has brought it up several times, and seems to get more passionate each time. Though I am the parent, I have no answer to her perplexing question. She debates it out loud as she attempts to discover what SHE really feels about several issues this topic brings to the table.
Due to the depth and sensitivity of this topic, I have done a lot of thinking and no writing for a week and a half. My oversensitive heart does not want to probe in an uncomfortable area. However, my daughter asking these questions has prompted many things within me and it is worth my uncomfortable feelings to write them. This is real life …

Abortion Part II ... Speaking With Someone Who Chose Abortion

(Read AFTER Part I)
Below is a question/answer session with a woman who chose abortion, my sweet friend. She has given a voice in a way I could not. There is a poem she found online that she related to, and personalized it for her situation. I am not sure if it will have the same effect on someone who does not personally know and love one in her shoes as I do, but for me, I wept.
   This is connected with 2 other posts; I separated it because it is not written by me. Here are the words from a woman who has been through abortion ...

Abortion PART III … A Poem About Abortion

(This email alert should come as the 1st of a 3 part blog. Read it last. I posted them backwards. They will read from top to bottom in order on the site.)
I wrote this in honor of my friend before I had even spoken with her about my daughter’s thoughts, or read the other poem. My heart was warmed to see the similarities in the two. I understand a soul sister a bit better now. Hopefully another person can too …