Wednesday, August 14, 2013

From the Delivery Room to the Dorm Room


It was nineteen short/long years ago when God gave you to me.

My physical body transformed, a Mommy I’d soon be.

At your birth, nine months later, your existence became real.

On this day both our lives began, because my wounds began to heal.

 

I stared at you every opportunity I had, always in awe about every part of you.

Trying to wrap my head and heart around this newfound love, one I never knew.

I kissed you too much and could never get enough of your sweet baby smell.

I had heard of falling in love, and was certain that’s the place I fell.

 

The days, weeks and months passed as your tiny body grew.

You changed and evolved, every day learning something new.

You enlightened my world as you learned and began to talk.

Then before I knew it, you crawled and began to walk.

 

My baby became a little girl, seemingly overnight.

Learning and challenging the differences between what’s wrong and right.

Time continued to travel at warp speed as the years would pass.

Then, the day arrived when I walked you into your kindergarten class.

 




You were so happy and felt like such a big girl walking through that door.

But for me, leaving you there seemed it couldn’t have hurt more.

I held it together until I was in the car and drove away.

You were doing great, I was the one who was not okay.

Hmm, that was thirteen years ago ... I'd swear it was yesterday ...

 

The start of each new school year was a repeat of the same thing.

Excitement for you, and bittersweet emotions for me, with a bit of a sting.

My child entering new phases of life, leaving the old ones in the past.

Each year bringing me closer to the reality that life passes far too fast.

 

High school came and went in the same rapid fashion and speed.

You accomplished every possible goal, building that resume you’d soon need.

Awards and titles you held, all through your high school career.

You worked so hard to prepare for college, keeping your vision clear.

 

Then, graduation day approached, it was time to end your school days.

My little girl had turned into an impressive young lady in so many ways.

I looked at you in that cap and gown, adorned with ropes of every color.

My cup runneth over baby girl; that you are my child, and I am your mother.

 

Now, here we are … it’s time for you to fly from our nest.

Accepted to a university known for educating the best of the best.

All of your hard work has paid off, and you deserve what you’ve received.

You had a dream and it came true … just look what you have achieved!

 

But my sweet girl, let me tell you something you will one day comprehend.

I am overjoyed for you as this is a “beginning,” but it is also an end.

It is an ending to your childhood, a time I’ve always known.

I realize my baby has transitioned from a child and is now grown.

 

Just as the time of your birth, there are no words a mom can say.

No words to explain the time in her life when her baby moves away.

Decorating your dorm room, what a mixture of emotions that brought.

Knowing you will not be here in your room was harder than I thought.

 

Though I loved helping you yesterday and watching you take it all in,

It was bittersweet to go through the motions as this new life we begin.

I was happy to be there, unloading things you had so carefully packed.

But leaving the campus was surreal, quite paralyzing as a matter of fact.

 

I treasure sitting on your bed the morning you left, with your little sister and you.

Always remember the bond between the three of us, a bond oh so true.

Holding hands in a circle as we prayed and cried together was healing.

It froze time for a moment and released this whirlwind of all we’re feeling.

 

I say all of this for a reason, and it’s not to bring you down or make you sad.

We are in a time of change in our life, the one we’ve always had.

It’s time for you to go out into this big world and make it on your own.

All I ask is that you remember; wherever I am, you can always call it “home.”

 

No matter what you do or do not accomplish, I love you with all my heart.

And also remember that what is dressed like an ending, is merely a new start.

The delivery room seemingly brought you to me, and the dorm took you away.

But in reality I know this is all far deeper than a room or any place we stay.

 

You are with me and I am with you no matter where we are.

Many people have offered words of comfort saying, “She’s not moving far.”

I agree there is a great truth to that statement, there is no doubt.

But the part that hurts the most is simply that you are moving out.

 

Your room will not look like a bomb explosion, your made bed will be empty at night.

You will not be using my bathroom any time you want, as though it is your right.

Your laughter will not be heard as you are doing something crazy.

There won’t be near as many comments stated as you speak for Swayze.

I will not see you sitting on the couch, or perched in the sink picking your face.

And I will wonder how you could possibly survive in any other place.

 

Your point of view and interpretation of this experience may differ in a way or two.

Like I imagine that texting while eating dinner will be one of the 1st things you do!

Meeting new people every day and enjoying newfound freedom is certainly great.

You can go where you want, when you want, and come back early or late.

 

Your life is a huge, clean, white canvas sitting in front of you.

The choices you make from here forward will be the tinting hue.

Good ones and bad ones you will make, just as we all have done.

The key is making sure to learn a lesson from each and every one.

 

If I had to sum up the most important advice I want you to carry,

It wouldn’t be about your career, your appearance or even who you marry.

I would tell you that I’m sure you and Success will walk side by side,

And I would tell you to be choosy who you allow along for the ride.

 

Leave no room for boastfulness, arrogance, pride and greed.

These are the temptations that will surely come your way as you succeed.

No matter how high you climb on the ladder of life, keep a humble heart.

Don’t wait too late to call on God, have Him with you from the start.

 

And the last thing I’d say to you is an echo of what my Daddy would always say.

He said no matter what I do, choose something that makes me happy day to day.

Happiness will not come in the form of a title, money or fame.

Finding true happiness within yourself is always the name of the game.
 

You will spend too much time at work, that’s part of being grown.

Never live someone else’s life and dreams, simply live your own.

Be sure to laugh a lot, no matter how hard life seems to be;

For each and every moment in time will pass, good and bad, becoming a memory.

 

Before you know it, you’ll be the mom sending your baby off to college.

It will become evident that the books aren’t what gave you knowledge.

In the delivery room, you get no handbook for being a father or mother.

Yet, in my opinion, it’s a job more important than any other.


Though it's important to find a job you love, it shouldn't be all work no play.

Family and friends will always be what's important at the end of the day.

A job will not love you back or be there to hold you when you cry,

And one who lives for their work leaves a sad legacy when they die.
 

I am sure I did plenty wrong as I attempted this important parenting role.

But sweetheart, please know, I gave it my whole heart and soul.

Success to me, is if you and your sister can look back at your childhood with a smile.

No matter what I have or have not done, that will make it all worthwhile.

 

I love you,

Mom
(c) Kasi M. Bryon

1 comment:

  1. Tears.. I always love to read your beautiful writing my sweet friend!... Jen

    ReplyDelete