Granny

          GP/Granny Parker

I’ve never spent the night in a nursing home. Tonight will be a first. It is my understanding that this facility is called a “Rehabilitation Center,” but it has every characteristic of a nursing home.

Possibly, that’s just a new name given to take away the icky stigma attached to the title, “nursing home …”

          Considering the outside surroundings of this location, (barred doors and windows on the small, rundown houses; railroad tracks and no one of my same skin color driving in the passing cars,) the actual facility is surprisingly quite nice and impressive. It is very clean, well decorated and smells good; which is exceptional considering the amount of elderly people here. Not what I expected.

Church

Church. The face with many masks, at least in my lifetime.

It once represented a fun place to make arts and crafts, somehow creatively connected to scripture. Certificate awards that could be be framed or put in a scrapbook showing the success of learning the books of the Bible. Little snacks and Dixie cups with red Kool-Aid. It smelled like Play Doh, glue and paint and sounded like Jesus Loves Me This I Know. I loved having angel wings strapped on my tiny back, lined in sparkly tinsel, just like the wire halo on a stick hanging over my head. Older people stood in front of the church wearing matching robe-like gowns, holding hardback hymnal books and singing off key. My Nanny sang along loudly and I couldn’t tell if it sounded good or bad. The best part was when the preacher said for the kids to come forward. We sat criss-cross-applesauce on the carpet and listened to a Bible story he had tried to recreate in our novice language. Sometimes we even got a little prize, like a piece of candy.

A Diamond Named Crystal Poem

 “I have breast cancer.” The words you said in a matter of fact way.

I tried to process the declaration, But no words could I say.

We kept a positive attitude, believing it would all be okay.

In spite of the threat that it could take your life one day.

 

You eventually told me, “They said I may have three years.”

You were the one comforting me, trying to calm all my fears.

That discussion was a phone conversation, but you still heard me cry.

I was asking what everyone else was, the unexplainable question, why?

A Diamond Named Crystal

          It was somewhere after 8pm and before 9pm on Thursday May 14, 2015 when time stood still. Whatever the clock said no longer mattered and had no meaning. I sat in a hospital room beside my lifelong friend who was laying in the bed, holding her hand as she was preparing to leave this earth. It would be my first time to be in the presence of someone leaving their physical body. I've never wanted so desperately to be somewhere and not be somewhere so badly.

30 Things I Learned About Myself When Snowed/Iced In My House Alone For Days

 

1.     I like to be alone.

2.    My house in not very organized, and its big.

3.    Having gas heat does NOT mean it works when the electricity goes out. Gas fireplaces do ... but they are a little intimidating to people who are afraid of gas powered explosions.

4.    I miss my kids.