A question
similar to the answer-less one, “Which is
harder/easier … knowing death is coming or a sudden death.”
Knowing death is near gives everyone
the opportunity to say what needs to be said and do bucket lists. But, the
impending doom is constantly lurking like a heavy fog, the elephant in the
room, while everyone awaits the moment of the end … a stress beyond belief.
Sudden death steals last goodbyes, but there is no pre-death anxiety and no
helplessness as we sit back and witness a loved one suffer.
My end conclusion: Neither is
easier or harder, better or worse, and the pain remains the same at the end of
the day. There are pros and cons to both and we all could wish for the opposite
that we experience, but the truth is, the grass is not greener on the other
side when someone we love is taken. The grief is equal.
As far as death and divorce, it
is the same as the above concept, but there is a silent twist. Personally, I am
six years post-divorce and had forgotten all about this concept until
yesterday. I’m not sure what reminded me as I was driving, but I heard echoes
of my words to my dearest friend from seven years ago (as the marriage
ship was sinking) … and her perfect response to me. Having a best friend with a
degree in counseling comes in quite handy …
Typically, I write in present
time. Thoughts, feelings and happenings of the here and now in my little world.
It’s unfamiliar to write about something that is not a current situation, but
when prompted, I listen.
