First, hats off to my father and all of the other preceding people who have taught a child to drive. In my mind, when my child is behind the wheel and I am in the passenger seat, it is as though someone has a gun pointed at my head with their finger on the trigger. That’s how in danger my life feels. I try not to make her self conscious, but it is difficult when trees are coming at me, we are not in our lane, or people are walking and we are not slowing down. She has a constant look of anger and disgust on her face because I am annoying her and she “already knows what to do,” and I have a look of fear mixed with panic, anxiety and frustration. I truly want to retire from this job (the driving instructor one, not the parenting one,) but I must be brave … I may need medication before its all over.
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Yesterday, we took a break from our regular schedules and made a few memories, (and my daughter drove.) We went to the Barnes and Noble bookstore and purchased their summer reading books. (As I walked through the aisles, I imagined MY book on the “Best Seller” shelf … not the "75% off" discount table.)
To make my day even brighter, while we were in the store, I bought TWO CD’s: ADELE 19 and MICHAEL FRANTI. They probably couldn’t be more opposite as far as music choices, but I love both of their work. Adele has such a mature sound, but is so young. Her CD’s have “19” and “21” as part of the titles and they represent the age she was when the album was recorded. Impressive. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw Adele also reminds me of Bonnie Raitt and I LOVE her!
Michael Franti … there is something unique about him. He has a Jamaican/Reggae sound, several tattoos, dreadlocks and never wears shoes. His songs, “Sound of Sunshine” and “I Love You” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehu3wy4WkHs) surely would turn any frown upside down. Maybe my interest is heightened because of his hair? I know it looks un-kept and unattractive to many people, but I have always liked long hair on a guy. Not sure why …
Our grand finale for the night was awesome. I took the girls and Swayze to see the movie, “Cars 2” AT THE DRIVE-IN!!
I was in my mid-30’s before I had ever even been to a drive-in movie and this was only my 2nd time. As long as the weather is good, it’s the way to go. $15 for a car full, there are no feet kicking your back and no one is sitting 3 inches from your shoulder. Plus, I am always fearful of head lice at a movie theater as my head is leaned back where someone else’s head has been. YUCK!!
Our car was a small version of our house by the time we sat everything up. We brought the comfort of our home to an outdoor movie theater, and Swayze could come too. I happily sat between my two daughters in mommy bliss. We opened the back hatch and laid the back seats flat. The girls laid on their tummies; the youngest to my left and the oldest to my right. My only challenging task was to master making my hands do 2 separate things at the same time. The youngest one likes her back rubbed near the top and bottom, not on the sides and not in a way that tickles. But the oldest likes hers done on the sides and does like it to tickle …
I imagined how great it would be to be a child and lay on pillows at the drive-in movie with my mom rubbing my back most of the time and getting me snacks and drinks. Not intending a stab at my mom, but that’s just never been her style. I’m sure my kids will do things that they wish I would have done, at least I hope so. Hopefully, they will remember our movie night and treasure that time as I do.
Thank God I had the insight to know and realize as we were in the moment, “These are the times I will soon miss. Enjoy every second.”
I did …
Still trying to always live with no regrets … even at the drive-in,
Kasi
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