A Single Mom’s Christmas Poem

She prepared the surprises her girls would soon see.

The stockings were stuffed and gifts were under her tree.

She tried very hard to make the holiday bright,

Preparing memories to be made on this Christmas Eve night.

She decided to make a fun, new fresh memory for this holiday.

She always attempts to make things memorable in any small way.

The three of them got matching pajamas, just like an all girl team.

It gave them a girlish sense of fun, as small as it may seem.

They said their bedtime prayers and she kissed their sweet heads.

Then she smiled with joy as she tucked them in their beds.

Its time to do the final touches for the moment when they wake.

In just a few hours, she will watch the memories they will make.

She is thankful for her babies and that they will soon discover their gifts.

She hopes they will never long for what they all have missed.

She knows in many homes, the mom and dad are doing this together.

She thought when her family was starting that it would be forever.

Some small piece of her heart sheds a tear and she lets out a sigh.

Even though it’s been a few years, sometimes she will still cry.

She admires the decorations, and then turns out all the lights.

It is such a special time, yet it is like so many other nights.

Her mind imagines a family unbroken, and wishes it were that way.

She crawls under the covers and silently begins to pray.

“Dear God in heaven, please take the hurt and make it all okay.

Help me to be strong and enjoy Your Son’s special day.”

She closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep.

It’s ironic how a time of joy is also a time to weep.

The two come hand in hand on nights such as these.

The hurt will bring the strongest person straight to her knees.

Sometimes life doesn’t work out as we have planned it to be.

Pain comes without discrimination to many, and that includes me.

I am the woman without a husband, the mom without a dad.

I am the person who doesn’t take for granted the life she once had.

Though my heart longs for wholeness and no pain within my life;

I understand it is more complex than simply being someone’s wife.

Besides these surges of sadness when symbolic days arrive;

The truth is that on a whole, my heart and soul feel more alive.

I am happy for those who have never felt this hurt, and hope they never do.

But there is an inner strength which lies within, when that person is you.

God has a bigger plan than you or I can ever comprehend.

No matter how shattered and broken, there is nothing He cannot mend.

I woke early this morning with anticipation within my heart;

Thankful that every single day is a beautiful, brand new start.

I tip toed downstairs like a quiet little mouse.

Plugging in all the lights and enjoying my peaceful house.

It wasn’t long after, I heard, “Mom, are you awake?”

Ahh, the sound of my child’s sweet voice … nothing more would I take.

I responded, “Yes! Good morning and Merry Christmas sweetheart!

But, you have to wake your little sister before the unwrapping can start!”

My girls came down to see what treasures waited under the tree.

As I took picture after picture, I thanked God I was me.

I suppose little pity parties are necessary every once in a while;

But I can never stay there long when I see those children smile.

An easy life seems appealing, and hard times are never fun.

But what has happened in life is in the past and cannot be undone.

It is the hard times that help us appreciate and recognize the good.

Difficulty exposes a deeper meaning to things we may not have understood.

To be a single parent is no walk in the park on a sunny day.

Yet, I am convinced there are far worse things that could come my way.

To be thankful for blessings is where the focus must stay.

Every thing is not black and white; there are beautiful shades of gray.

Today is bittersweet, for me and for many others.

Those who have lost parents, children, spouses, friends, sisters and brothers.

Happy Holidays are not always full of joy and blissful cheer.

They can be more like cruel torture, each and every year.

Everyone must own his grief, avoiding it will do no good.

If we could change heartache to happiness, I’m sure we all would.

But, to grow content in sadness and misery will only make things worse.

It will provide fertile ground to harvest a resentful, bitter curse.

Reality is that there are hearts broken beyond repair.

To the parents who do not have their children, no pain can compare.

God has broken me for those who have lost this core piece of their heart.

They will never feel whole again, while from their babies they are apart.

I pray for a rainbow to shine over them during times that should be bright.

A prayer for peace and comfort, every single day and night.

For those who have endured no significant loss; rejoice and be glad.

Same goes for the ones who hurt, but there is a glass of wine to be had!!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night …

© Kasi Maria Bryon

 December 25, 2011